Irregular Writers Experimental fiction, poetry and literary mischief.

Irregular Writers

Experimental fiction, poetry and literary mischief.

Latest Articles

Full Marks for Misdemeanours: Turning the GCSE English Rubric Into a Fiction Machine
Literary Archaeology

Full Marks for Misdemeanours: Turning the GCSE English Rubric Into a Fiction Machine

The GCSE English mark scheme is usually treated as a threat. What if it is a constraint-generator? This piece digs through AO5, AO6 and the strange poetry of 'secure control' to propose rubric-fed fiction that satisfies the examiner and sabotages the rubric at the same time.

Contamination Warning: How Council Bin Rules Can Write Weirder Poems Than You Can
Opinion

Contamination Warning: How Council Bin Rules Can Write Weirder Poems Than You Can

Your council’s bin-day calendar is not just bureaucracy; it is an Oulipo constraint generator hiding in a laminated card. Here is how to let ‘no side waste’ and ‘rinse before recycling’ push your poems into stranger, sharper territory. Bring a caddy.

Sailing By Into the Uncanny: What Novelists Can Steal from the Shipping Forecast
Opinion

Sailing By Into the Uncanny: What Novelists Can Steal from the Shipping Forecast

The late-night litany of gales, sea states and coastal names isn’t background noise — it’s a masterclass in rhythm, place and dread. Here’s how to raid the Shipping Forecast for your fiction, plus three exercises for drafting a forecast fiction of your own.

The Anti-Networking Circle: How to Build a Writers’ Collective That Causes Beautiful Trouble
Opinion

The Anti-Networking Circle: How to Build a Writers’ Collective That Causes Beautiful Trouble

A collective should not be a LinkedIn group with crisps. Here is how to build a UK writers’ circle that treats experimentation as the point, shares the rejections, and rotates the strange.

Gravy Is an Unreliable Narrator: Six Ways to Plot Your Novel Like a Carvery
Opinion

Gravy Is an Unreliable Narrator: Six Ways to Plot Your Novel Like a Carvery

The three-act structure has had a good run, like a carvery that never changes the menu. But the British Sunday roast offers richer narrative models: Yorkshire pudding as prologue, gravy as unreliable narrator, and the inevitable nap as denouement. Here are six roast-inspired plots for fiction that misbehaves deliciously.

The A5 Conspiracy: Britain’s Pamphlet Presses Are Hiding the Future in Plain Staple
Literary Archaeology

The A5 Conspiracy: Britain’s Pamphlet Presses Are Hiding the Future in Plain Staple

Forget the brick-thick novel with the airport promotional budget. Britain’s real literary laboratory is a 24-page A5 pamphlet held together by two staples and a grudge against the mainstream. Here is why the chapbook scene matters in 2026, and how to join it without being fleeced.

Went Is a Plot Twist: In Praise of Verbs That Won’t Behave
Literary Archaeology

Went Is a Plot Twist: In Praise of Verbs That Won’t Behave

Irregular verbs are not grammar’s embarrassing leftovers; they are tiny acts of narrative sabotage. A craft essay on suppletion, tense and the pleasures of a sentence that refuses to conjugate politely—with exercises for the badly behaved.

Opinion

Spin Cycle, Sonnet Cycle: Why Experimental Writers Belong in the Laundrette

Arts funding loves a nice gallery and a library with good lighting. It should also love the launderette, the chip shop and the bus station—and pay experimental writers to notice what happens there.

Please Look Away: In Defence of the Literary Disguise
Opinion

Please Look Away: In Defence of the Literary Disguise

The glossy author photo is a tiny monarchy demanding you buy the writer as well as the book. Experimental writing needs fewer brick-wall headshots and more masks, pseudonyms and absurd biographies. A starter kit for vanishing behind the work.

Platform 3 Is a Poem and It’s Delayed: A Field Guide to Commuter Found Poetry
Literary Archaeology

Platform 3 Is a Poem and It’s Delayed: A Field Guide to Commuter Found Poetry

The 7:42 to Leeds is not a literary salon, but it is full of accidental surrealism. A practical, mildly unethical-looking guide to harvesting tannoy apologies, station signage and overheard fragments without becoming the person everyone avoids in the quiet carriage.

Quiz Night Is a Trojan Horse: Smuggling Beckett into the Back Room
Opinion

Quiz Night Is a Trojan Horse: Smuggling Beckett into the Back Room

The British pub quiz is a beautiful machine for making people argue about capital cities. It can also be a delivery system for experimental literature. Here’s how to rig a round without getting barred.

Don’t Mind the Syntax, Love: Why Broken English Makes Better Books
Literary Archaeology

Don’t Mind the Syntax, Love: Why Broken English Makes Better Books

Standard English has had a good run, but the well-made sentence is starting to look like a gated community. A defence of dialect grammar, irregular verbs and the glorious narrative mess that makes British fiction sound like it comes from somewhere.

The Fifty-Pence Canon: Digging Britain’s Lost Experimental Novelists Out of Charity Shops
Literary Archaeology

The Fifty-Pence Canon: Digging Britain’s Lost Experimental Novelists Out of Charity Shops

Britain’s real avant-garde archive is not in a glass case at the British Library. It is a wobbly shelf near the till in a charity shop, wedged between a broken-spined thriller and a cookbook for people who fear vegetables. This is a field guide to the weird, cheap, out-of-print fiction that still turns up for 50p — and why we should treat the second-hand shelf as a proper literary institution.

Send In the Clangers: Why Britain Needs More Deliberately Bad Poetry Nights
Opinion

Send In the Clangers: Why Britain Needs More Deliberately Bad Poetry Nights

The UK spoken-word scene has become glittering, competition-shaped and almost aggressively respectable. Bring back the draft that doesn’t work. Bring back the poem about a pigeon. Here is the case for a monthly bad poetry night — plus a practical guide to running one without turning it into a cruelty engine.